I received a digital advance reader’s copy (ARC) of Arthur and Teddy Are Coming Out by Ryan Love. Since this version is just a proof and not the final version, I won’t quote directly and will keep my comments general.

In Arthur and Teddy Are Coming Out, Arthur is nearly eighty years old when he decides that it’s time to finally tell his family the truth: he’s gay. This shocks everyone, but no one is more affected than Teddy, Arthur’s grandson. Teddy is also gay and has been waiting for the right moment to come out. But the way his relatives react make him hesitate, even though he is starting to have feelings for his colleague Ben. So now, Teddy and Arthur need to navigate their lives, from love and honesty to reconciliation and forgiveness.

So this was generally quite a sweet story! I really liked Arthur as a character; he’s easy to root for as he tries to figure out how to live in a way that feels true for him, and he’s very charming and funny and caring. I also love his bond with Madeleine, his wife, who is so supportive and amazing. They’re a wonderful example of deep platonic love, and it was fantastic to see.

I also liked Teddy as the other protagonist/narrator. He’s a good kid, with understandable worries about what will happen when he comes out. I also liked his friends, especially Shakeel. Their struggles with navigating adult life as twenty-somethings were relatable but still entertaining.

However, while this book has a lot going for it in terms of discovering and being true to one’s self, there were a couple aspects I really didn’t enjoy. Namely, the characters Elizabeth and Ben. Elizabeth is Arthur’s daughter and Teddy’s mother, and she’s awful. Her reaction to Arthur’s coming out is appalling—the worst case scenario for any queer person (short of physical violence, at least). Moreover, she’s just so self-centered throughout most of the story. I understand feeling shocked about your parent coming out and having to re-evaluate some things about your childhood and current life as a result… but the way Elizabeth talks about it, as if it’s all about her rather than Arthur’s personal journey, was frankly gross. She’s also completely horrible to Teddy at one point, even slapping him during a disagreement.

Unfortunately, this book doesn’t handle these situations with the gravity they should have been. I know that Arthur and Teddy are both kind, forgiving people full of grace, but they still should have held Elizabeth more accountable for her actions. I think she gets off way too easily, and her gradual acceptance and redemption didn’t feel at all sufficient when compared to how terrible she’d been behaving. Yes, there’s merit to forgiving someone you love for doing something wrong, but that person should still have to make proper amends and demonstrate that they won’t repeat their actions, which Elizabeth only barely does. It’s really a case of too little, too late for me.

As for Ben, Teddy’s colleague, I certainly liked him more than Elizabeth (though in that case, the bar is so low as to be buried underground). However, I still found him annoying, rude, and too selfish to really care about. His initial interactions with Teddy did not make me optimistic about their relationship, and even when he began to be kinder, I constantly suspected him of having an ulterior motive. They’re both competing for the same job, after all. Additionally, him pressuring Teddy to come out fully is very unkind. He has very little compassion for Teddy’s situation, and so I had very little patience with him. Luckily, this book is kind of predictable, and I knew how the story was really going to go in terms of Teddy’s romantic interests, so I ended up satisfied. (Spoiler alert: he doesn’t end up with Ben, thank goodness.)

And one last thing, more generally: I can’t help but feel that this book’s idea of “coming out” is very narrow. The characters sort of seem to believe that being out is most ideal when everyone in the community knows. Nowhere is there really discussion that one can still live a fulfilling life while only being out to some people, even just to a few family members or a partner. I can see why Arthur being fully out to his entire town would feel liberating after nearly eight decades in the closet, but that is only one person’s circumstance. Like Teddy, not everyone can necessarily safely come out in such a universal way. So many factors can affect a person’s ability to come out, such as where someone lives. We see everywhere today, unfortunately, that even in the United States or the UK (where this book is set, I believe), it is not always safe to be openly queer. I think the book lost sight of that, though not maliciously. I only wish there had been more nuance to the concept of coming out.

However, in the end, I did like Arthur and Teddy Are Coming Out. it’s a story about love and kindness and family. I think the protagonists are lovely, though certain side characters aren’t. I think the themes of living life to the fullest and embracing change are good, even if others could use more nuance. I enjoyed some of the banter and development of certain relationships, and overall this is a simple but still sweet, feel-good story.

Arthur and Teddy Are Coming Out is available now!

Content note: as I’ve alluded to above, there are several instances of homophobic comments and actions, either recalled or that occur on the page. There’s an anecdote about a character being beaten up for being gay, and a subplot about a minor character dying by suicide (off the page) due to lack of acceptance in their family. Nothing is particularly graphic, but these things are still present.