This is going to be a long post. I do not apologize.

Nor do I apologize for the excessive caps lock. Sometimes, italics aren’t enough to express myself.

To preface this, I’ve been watching Doctor Who since about 2012. I started with the Ninth Doctor (Christopher Eccleston) and his initial season from 2005, then never really stopped following it. While I have varying opinions about the show as a whole (see my conclusion later in this post), I just can’t quite seem to tear myself away. So here we are, with Disney having teamed up with BBC to produce the show, with Russell T. Davies (hereafter RTD) having returned to the position of head writer, and with Ncuti Gatwa’s first season having finished airing. And I… have thoughts. But what do you know, I have the perfect place to record them.

First of all, this is NOT season 1, and I will NOT refer to it as such. It should be called season 14, and that’s only counting the seasons since it resumed airing in 2005. They even have this season listed separately on IMDb now and I am annoyed. Listen, Disney, just because this show is under your jurisdiction now doesn’t mean that you can disrespect and disregard the previous SIX DECADES of this show. I will not stand for this!

Be warned, a lot of this review is me telling Disney (the corporation, not the man) off for various reasons.

So let me jump into my thoughts on each episode. (Side note: I don’t actually care if anyone reads this; it’s more for my own personal satisfaction. I don’t blame you for clicking away now.)

There will be, as River Song would say, SPOILERS.

“The Church on Ruby Road”

AKA the weird but charming enough Christmas episode

Not a bad start! I already knew I liked Gatwa as the Doctor, since he’d appeared in the final of the 60th anniversary specials in October 2023. But Ruby Sunday, the Doctor’s new companion and portrayed by Millie Gibson, made a decent impression. She’s a sweet young woman, and her dynamic with her adoptive mother is absolutely lovely. And her grandmother, Cherry, who is full of sass, endeared herself to me instantly.

The plot of the story started off as a typical Who Christmas episode—well, as “typical” as something like this can get, I suppose. A baby born on Christmas gets captured by extraterrestrials in a flying ship, sure, why not? I’ve seen weirder creatures on this show, frankly. And of course the Doctor and Ruby, trying to save the baby, have to climb a ladder into the ship as it soars over the London rooftops. That’s on brand.

Then, on the ship, we happen upon the goblin-aliens, who… start to sing?

Okay, Disney, I see you, and I don’t know if I like it.

It’s a catchy song, and when the Doctor and Ruby join in, improvising to save the baby, I didn’t hate it… but I didn’t love it. Gatwa and Gibson are just lucky they’re charming, because this scene was weird.

But of course, they save the baby, and as a bonus, what is clearly going to be the overall arc of the series is set up: Ruby’s mysterious mother who left her behind at a church on Christmas. It’s fine. Far from the worst episode I’ve seen. Not even the worst Christmas episode, probably. And it serves as a good introduction to the two main characters, the premise of the show, and the main arc.

Solid start! I’m optimistic.

“Space Babies”

AKA watching this made me wonder if I might have died and gone to hell. If not, I probably should start repenting now, because surely the Bad Place can’t be much worse than this. Okay, fine, I exaggerate. But only a little.

My optimism was naive. Blame the holiday season, I guess?

In this episode, the Doctor and Ruby find themselves on an alien spaceship, having to solve a crisis. Once again, this is familiar territory; there are any number of previous Who episodes that have a similar premise.

However, none of those episodes had a jump scare like this one.

And no, I don’t mean when the monster on the ship leaps out. I mean the reveal of the inhabitants of the ship. For an episode called “Space Babies,” I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised, but boy was I! I remember physically half-leaping off the couch, actually, then staring in horror with an expression probably reminiscent of Munch’s “The Scream.”

This ship is run by hyper-intelligent babies, and the CGI is kind of horrifying. I mean, what kind of uncanny valley, fever dream horror show are these?!

The dialogue is fine, the plot is fine, the acting is (more than) fine, but I was way too creeped out by the babies to really care.

Also, the monster turns out to be made of snot, and that was kind of the final straw for me. Yes, okay, the Bogeyman is a typical nightmare for children, and the residents of the ships are babies, but still. Why must we do this? This combined with everything I’ve had to look at was too much.

If I never see this episode again, it will be too soon.

Surely it can’t get worse, though.

“The Devil’s Chord”

AKA the Beatles one that almost destroyed me irrevocably

It got worse.

Knowing this was a historical episode, I started watching with high hopes. Some of my favorite Who episodes are the historical ones (Pompeii, Shakespeare, Rosa Parks, Van Gogh, etc.); surely they can’t go wrong with the Beatles!

To be fair, Gatwa and Gibson continue to be very good together. And I honestly have nothing against the villain—a figure called Maestro. Drag queen Jinkx Monsoon does a good job being totally unhinged yet still fabulous, and I had a good time watching them. It was also intriguing to hear, through Maestro, some foreshadowing about an even bigger baddie looming in the distance.

However, the Beatles didn’t matter. They didn’t DO anything; this episode was far from a celebration of their music and their impact on Western society, as I’d expected. They were just in the background, but I honestly don’t remember if they did anything. I’m certainly not going to rewatch to double check.

So the episode winds down, and Ruby heads back to the TARDIS with the Doctor, and I’m left thinking that it was a mediocre episode, but nothing terrible. And then, the final few minutes happen.

I ask you (the internet, the universe, someone, anyone), WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY W H Y do we have a music number at the end?! It is one of the most incongruous things I’ve ever seen. Yes, this was a music-oriented episode, and yes, the lyrics of this stupid song literally say that “there’s always a twist at the end” but this feels so incredibly out of place. Both in terms of this episode and the show overall, the tone shift does NOT work. It’s offensively Disney-fied. Doctor Who has NEVER been like this before, even when RTD originally was head writer, so you cannot convince me that Disney didn’t make them add this in.

And then, the Abbey Road dance. Doctor Who is many things, but magical?! No. Stop. This is a sci-fi time travel show! Why does an otherwise unremarkable Earth suddenly have an Abbey Road that PLAYS MUSIC LIKE A PIANO WHEN YOU DANCE ACROSS IT?! What kind of Mary Poppins-esque, anachronistic nonsense is this?! It doesn’t make sense! It doesn’t match the rest of the show! I hate it with every fiber of my being.

Yes, I might be overreacting, and there are worse problems in the world, but in the world of Who, this is catastrophic, and I currently live in the world of Who.

I ended this episode feeling nothing but abject despair at the state of this show. Up until now, I’d stuck with the Doctor through thick and thin, through astounding (“Blink”) and forgettable (most of Capaldi’s and Whitaker’s seasons; no offense good people). But this episode destroyed my will to go on with it. Not just destroyed. Obliterated. Eradicated. Exterminated, if you will.

But then, after giving it a little thought, I felt I owed something to the Doctor. I’d give the show one more go, a swan song, if you will. Just so I wouldn’t leave with such a terrible taste in my mouth.

Just one more episode, and that’s it.

In short, Disney, we duel at dawn.

“Boom”

AKA the unexpected hero

A week passes, during which I actively try to avoid thinking about Doctor Who, which has never happened before. At worst, it was always merely forgettable in the past. These are uncharted waters.

But then, I sat down and watched what was supposed to be Who’s swan song for me, the episode simply titled “Boom.” And, well… it was fantastic.

I cannot BELIEVE that, of all people, Steven Moffat is the person who saved this show for me. Steven. Moffat. Really? THAT guy?!

I have OPINIONS about that man’s writing (namely, that he really should not be lead writer of any show, whether it’s about an alien in a blue box or an English detective or whatever), and I honestly kind of resent the fact that he was the one to turn this situation around.

But WOW, “Boom” is… good. It’s really good. It’s one of those episodes that, even as you watch it for the first time, feels like a classic of the show. It’s one of those episodes that makes you recall “Blink” and how good it was, how good Moffat is (at one-off episodes, at least). The tension is high, the stakes are even higher, and the setting is brilliantly realized. A desolate, desperate war-torn planet, with hidden bombs—one of which has been discovered, unfortunately, by the Doctor. Now, his life hangs in the balance, and Ruby is frantic to save him (as am I).

The side characters are decent, the plot moves at an excellent pace, and the twists and turns are amazing. And the acting, UGH. Gatwa. Sir. Please, have mercy! Stop shattering my heart with your emotive performances! You’re too good!

I ended the episode feeling like I’d just sprinted a mile, but in a good way. What a thrill ride. I can’t wait to watch it again.

Wait. Does this mean I’m continuing the show, too?!

Apparently so.

“73 Yards”

AKA the one that thrilled and terrified me in equal measure

Okay, despite this one not having much Gatwa, it’s actually excellent. We get lots of time for Ruby to shine. And honestly, this is the one that really impressed me, in terms of Millie Gibson’s performance. I bet it was an exceptionally difficult episode to film, and she does it fantastically.

So we watch Ruby’s life grows worse and worse, and the stakes get higher and higher. One by one, she loses everyone she cares about and everyone who can help her. (It reminds me a little bit of Dark One: Forgotten, though only vaguely.) It’s an incredibly tense episode, even before the world-ending stakes that Roger ap Gwilliam, the dangerous prime minister, introduces. He’s a chilling figure, in the best yet most terrible way—just a human, eager for power.

But as Ruby’s situation and his goals intersect, the best scene of the episode occurs, Ruby vs. Roger, and it’s so satisfying. And then the scene in the hospital is utterly terrifying, with a reveal that’s excellent as well as horrifying. The idea that the mysterious figure ruining Ruby’s life has been her future self all along is something I should have figured out, but also is such a wonderful reveal that I’m glad I didn’t figure it out until moments before.

Honestly, this is one of those episodes that makes for the best Doctor Who: a tale that feels like one of those sci-fi short stories you’re assigned to read in high school that you remember for the rest of your life.

RTD, I think I’ve forgiven you for the role you played in “Space Babies” and “The Devil’s Chord” being the way they were. You’re on thin ice, though.

“Dot and Bubble”

AKA I might still be yelling about the ending

Okay, this one is good too! It leaves me with hope that those two awful episodes were blips. We’ll see, though.

This one is set on a futuristic other planet, which also serves as a sobering glimpse into what our future could become: too dependent on technology, to an extent that we’re seriously at a disadvantage in even the most basic situations without it. People don’t have real face-to-face interactions on this planet, doing everything on fluorescent zoom calls/social media streams instead.

But there are monsters about, even in this “utopia,” and so of course the Doctor arrives to save the day. He makes contact with Lindy, a resident of this planet, imploring her to help him understand. As he, Ruby, and Lindy start to piece together the truth, I was so invested in saving the people. Giant demogorgon slug monster things are never good, and even if these people are shallow and strange, they don’t deserve to get eaten by those.

Or do they.

As the episode progresses, we see the slow breakdown of Lindy’s seemingly good character. She betrays the one other person on her planet who helped her, and it may have been a dire situation, but she still turned her back on him. Poor Ricky September.

And by the end of the episode, when the Doctor comes face to face with Lindy after getting her to safety, it all comes crashing down. Her racist remarks are so cutting and cruel, and it all comes after he did everything to save her life! The bigotry, the injustice, it’s horrible to witness. And Ncuti Gatwa’s performance is perfect. I’m still devastated.

Okay, RTD, you’re forgiven.

“Rogue”

AKA happy pride

We find ourselves in another historical episode, which is (almost) always a good sign. Regency England is fun, and aliens infiltrating high society through body snatching is a great concept.

I do have a couple quibbles, though.

Firstly, why is the orchestra playing Billie Eilish?! At least in Bridgerton (which Ruby insists on referencing multiple times) the soundtrack of orchestral covers of modern pop songs is non-diegetic; here, though, it feels out of place and wrong. Because it is.

Between the music and the fandom references, the whole episode kind of has a feeling of saying “hello fellow kids, look how with the times I am” but it isn’t fooling anyone. It’s kind of trying too hard in this regard and made me cringe a little.

Speaking of fandom references, how does the guest character Rogue (portrayed by Jonathan Groff) know about Dungeons and Dragons, but not about cosplay? That might be the biggest plot hole of the season, to be honest.

And speaking of Rogue, while I liked him well enough, he truly is just Captain Jack Harkness again. I mean, they’re both American bisexual bounty hunters with spaceships and more sass than any normal person can typically contain. I guess the only difference is Rogue admits to being a bit of a geek, and Jack would probably try to still pretend he’s suave. But anyway, they’re almost exactly the same person.

On the positive side of things, though, let’s talk about Ncuti Gatwa again! He’s a delight in this, dapper and flirty and wonderful. (Side note: The Doctor has so many costume changes in this season, and it’s bizarre to acclimate to, after years of the lead wearing the same outfit—usually defined by a cool long coat—the entire time. Hmm. Maybe that’s why I myself am so fond of cool long coats. It’s the Doctor’s fault!)

Most importantly, I’m glad we’re finally acknowledging that the Doctor is queer. I mean, this is a character that changes bodies/genders every few years. Someone like that cannot really, by definition, be heterosexual. And this show/universe has always been progressive. In general, sci-fi shows have ALWAYS been progressive. Just look at Star Trek. Just look at Torchwood. I’m sure there are bigots up in arms on the internet, screaming in homophobic despair that the “real” Doctor isn’t gay, but those people need to get over themselves. The Doctor can be whatever the Doctor wants.

And honestly, who can blame the Doctor for flirting with Jonathan Groff? He’s a handsome guy! And the chemistry between Groff and Gatwa is incredible, 10/10.

So, yes, while I wish that Rogue had been something more than a Harkness knock-off, I can’t really complain. Happy Pride to the Doctor!

Also I can’t believe Groff got to do what I’ve wanted to do all season (gently brush away the Doctor’s tears and comfort him).

“The Legend of Ruby Sunday”

AKA Rose Noble is here and so I’m happy

So the penultimate episode begins with the Doctor wearing a leather jacket again, evoking memories of Christopher Eccleston’s Ninth Doctor and healing something within me. I didn’t realize I wanted to see that again, and yet here I am, screaming internally every time I see him.

This episode also sees the return of UNIT headquarters and its people, which… okay, why does this building look like the Avengers Tower from Marvel movies? Ugh. Disney, keep your grubby little mouse paws off; I don’t want superheroes here. The Doctor is more than super enough.

Luckily, this means that Rose Noble, Donna’s daughter, is back, as well as Mel, the Doctor’s companion from years passed. They’re both so lovely (and of course, I’m super fond of Rose, since her actress is also in Heartstopper, which I adore).

The storyline of this one is intriguing enough, delving into why Ruby’s past seems insistent on haunting them. I personally was skeptical that we needed to know who Ruby’s biological mother was, though, because after all, she has an amazing mom and grandmother. Why does she need to find a woman who seems disinterested in knowing her? But hey, Ruby cares, so I’ll follow along.

Then, I got very upset. The TARDIS is in danger, which is simply unacceptable. I’m very fond of this quirky time machine, so how dare someone have harmed her?!

That someone, apparently, being Sutekh, the god of death. This reveal was pretty lackluster for me, since I didn’t know if I was supposed to have some understanding of who this is. It seemed like the Doctor knew, but I was just left saying “uhhh wait what?”

At least he has kind of a cool character design. He’s some sort of jackal-bat-dragon-wolf monster with red glowing eyes. That’s neat.

“Empire of Death”

AKA did Ruby ever get her cappuccino or is the barista still standing there at the counter, confused, cup in hand?

So this is the season finale, and I am genuinely surprised to be here. A few weeks before, I was sure that I was done with this show, yet here I am, still in front of the tv.

This is quite a good finale, with huge stakes and a great final fight. I will say, though, that some of the suspense and emotion was taken away for me, because I knew that it would end well. So even as characters were dying, as entire planets were dying, I wasn’t worried. It’s Doctor Who, so of course the Doctor will be able to fix everything! Maybe if a little kid were watching this, and this was the first tv show they’d ever seen, they would be worried, but surely no one else is.

That said, I like that the characters essentially keelhauled Sutekh off the back of the TARDIS through the time vortex. Even typing that sentence was fun.

And the conclusion of Ruby’s arc was lovely, actually. The revelation of her mother ends up not being necessary to defeating Sutekh, not really. Instead, it’s about growing her family, and that’s so sweet. And I loved the scene where she reunites with her biological mother; it’s very well acted. Ruby coming to this woman with nothing but compassion and gratitude is beautiful, and her mother reacting with instant love is amazing.

And then, of course, with his companion safe at home with her family, the Doctor sets off for a new adventure. But is this the end of Ruby’s story? I have no idea; I haven’t bothered to look into if Gibson has signed on for another season, but I wouldn’t mind if she keeps traveling with the Doctor.

I’m going to continue doing so, apparently.

In conclusion…

I don’t know. I don’t know what to think. Let’s start with the obvious, I guess.

Ncuti Gatwa is one of the best Doctors (second only to David Tennant for me). He’s absolutely astounding. Even in the episodes I hated, I have no complaints about his performance. No matter what, he gives it his all, and consistently gets an emotional reaction from me. Something I’ve loved about this character since the start is that he approaches new things with curiosity and a sense of wonder. And Gatwa does this perfectly; he’s almost childlike in his enthusiasm sometimes, and it’s so endearing. The Doctor, having been through so much over the centuries, has so many reasons not to feel joyful, and yet Gatwa’s Doctor still chooses joy anyway.

If Gatwa’s Doctor appeared before me in the TARDIS, I’d go with him, no hesitation. This is definitely not the case with all the Doctors, so if that’s not proof of Gatwa’s immense talent, I don’t know what is. (And yes, I’d probably get myself killed in a few weeks on some distant planet, but I don’t care. What an amazing few weeks they’d be.)

I also quite liked Millie Gibson’s Ruby. She sometimes reminds me of Clara, sometimes of Rose Tyler, and those are good things. Her family dynamic is lovely, and her ability to roll with the Doctor’s chaotic lifestyle is admirable. Basically, she’s a very good companion. Whether she returns for the next season or not, I liked that she found happiness and a bigger family than ever at the end of this one.

(There’s no way anyone is still reading this post. I’m being so long-winded right now.)

Overall, I think this newest season is the most exemplary of the Doctor Who experience I’ve ever seen. The fluctuating quality and massive tone shifts between episodes. Historical moments. Weird spaceships. Fancy clothes. Family drama. Deus ex machina. The Doctor being sassy, the Doctor crying, the Doctor needing a friend. This season truly captured the entire show in microcosm, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I mean, if I were to rate every episode since 2005’s “Rose” and average the scores, I truly think the show would come out just… average, or maybe slightly above. At its core, it’s just okay, and I know that. It’s a wacky sci-fi show with mostly decent characters, a fun premise, and the most inconsistent quality of writing I’ve EVER witnessed. I love it, and love criticizing it. I cringe at it, and can’t stop watching it. I remember nothing about entire story arcs, and can quote multiple lines from certain episodes. I don’t know how I feel about this show, and I adore it.

Clearly, the universe truly does contain multitudes. Thank goodness it also contains a character like the Doctor.

I still want to duel Disney, though.